The Me book and My Autistic Reading

What kind of therapy do we do to get over going through ABA?

That’s not a rhetorical question 😦

Felis Autisticus

Last week, I read the ME book, Ivar Lovaas’s manual for parents on how to train a child through behavior modification. I even liveblogged my reactions to a set list of facebook friends. I’m going to compile those snippets here for everyone to see and read as they please, but I want to say something first.

I started out– and you’ll see this in my reactions, perhaps– with a flippant, how-bad-could-it-be, surely-I’ve-heard-worse attitude. Not to downplay the awful of the ME book, but surely I’ve seen some shit and it won’t affect me. Nothing affects me. I don’t emotions well.

But as you see in the increasing anger in my posts, it got to me. There’s something about reading a book designed to facilitate abuse, there’s something about this book, that just burns deep inside.

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What is Hate Speech?

George Lakoff

I have been asked what hate speech is. It is not exactly hard to detect.

Hate speech defames, belittles, or dehumanizes a class of people on the basis of certain inherent properties — typically race, ethnicity, gender, or religion.

Hate speech attributes to that class of people certain highly negative qualities taken to be inherent in members of the class. Typical examples are immorality, intellectual inferiority, criminality, lack of patriotism, laziness, untrustworthiness, greed, and attempts or threats to dominate their “natural superiors.”

The method of defamation typically includes:

  • Salient exemplars — that is, using highly rare and very ugly individual examples that have been sensationalized by the media and taking them as applying to the whole class. Examples: Trump’s racist attacks on Latinos and Muslims, attempting to stereotype all of them and smear entire classes of people on the basis of a handful of individual cases.
  • Extolling the false virtues…

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Stalkers aren’t love-lorn romantics

in response to an article glorifying stalking behaviors (note: link does not go to that article, as I don’t want to give it traffic, but to another article pointing out how problematic it is)

There is absolutely nothing romantic about undermining the personhood of your love interest. There is absolutely nothing romantic about dismissing your partner’s ability to answer you with No (or about your unwillingness to accept that No as No).

How is this hard?

No does not mean “not yet but keep manipulating and pressuring me both in public and in private without respite until I have to give in to you” + bonus “turn public opinion against me as a coldblooded harpy unless I give you what you want.”

His actions show that he thinks only his feelings and decisions are important in this relationship.

And the media/ Society is telling him that he’s right to believe this. That others should believe this, too.

The presentation focuses on how he feels and what he’s doing. “HE’S still in love- awwwwwww! That means she should accept that! Obviously!”

Do they even ask how she feels or give it a second thought?  No; they’ve already *dismissed* her feelings, and *even her ability to know what she feels* with “HE’S in love, therefore, THEY’RE in love. She just doesn’t know it yet.”

She’s decided to move on, but HE didn’t decide to, therefore her decision is somehow invalid and she will not be allowed to move on. HE’S decided to get back together, and she did not, but still they have to get back together, because his decision is the only important one.

Bullshit, people. This is not romantic. This is insulting, hurtful, belittling, and abusive crap. No wonder she left. No effin wonder.

He’s not in love. If he were in love, he’d respect her as a person. He’d respect her agency, her feelings, her safety. He doesn’t.

This isn’t love, this isn’t romance-  this is rape culture, and we need to stop this nonsense already. It’s the twentyfirst century!

What I Wish My Loved Ones Understood When I’m Suicidal

For Suicide Prevention Awareness month-

be safe out there.

Let's Queer Things Up!

My mother hit the nail on the head when she said that I didn’t come with an instruction manual.

If I did, I’d request that it include at least one chapter on suicide – because none of us, including me, were prepared for how to deal with suicidal thoughts and actions. As it turns out, mental illness would drive me to the end of my rope on more than one occasion.

The truth is that no one prepares you for that phone call, the one when your loved one is on the other end of the line saying, “I just can’t do this anymore.”

No one prepares you for that moment when they hang up abruptly, and you have to make a quick decision that might save their life.

I’ve been the person who both got the call and made the call – suicidee andsuicidal, if you will…

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well, I’m awake now

when you’re about to fall asleep

but then you remember something that happened years ago, when someone was so hateful to your face that you froze and did nothing,

and you are now just as mad at your own failing as you are at that ass,

even though you know you were dissociating because that was what you learned to do over the years

because people were often hateful and you were at such a disadvantage of power that dissociating was your only real option

and this was true for almost your entire life


and maybe it is still true

North Korea

yes again with this from 2016.

I’m so sorry for the way you’ve been treated, Guam.  Also, life on earth.


No way Trump will get the nomination…
No way Trump will become president…
Now way President Trump will launch those nuclear weapons…
No way I’m listening to those damn dirty apes.


Hahahahahaomg it’s not funny any more

So, about those pesky Nazis again.

I love you, Captain Awkward.

Captain Awkward

This is an amalgamation of actual letters in my actual inbox:

Dear Captain Awkward, I’m dating someone wonderful who really loves me, he (IT’S ALWAYS HE, DON’T @ME) but he has terrible political views, like, he thinks immigrants and black people and women and gay people and trans people aren’t really people something something about biological inferiority and it’s okay to violence them but only when they deserve it? I know it’s just how he grew up, he has a good heart and doesn’t really mean it, Confederate flags/”traditional” views are just part of his heritage. I’ve tried discussing this with him but he always talks over me. Can you help me explain my views better? I’m sure I can convince him if I just try hard enough? Can this relationship work?

Go look at some photos from Charlottesville right now.

BTW there’s one with the Confederate flag right…

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