There are various quotes out there to the effect that Stupid people have all the confidence and smart people have all the doubt. First off, this is ableist as hell. Second, it misses the point entirely.
These quotes imply that- for starters, smart and stupid have any real meaning- and that smart= good and stupid= asshole (even though what they’re really trying to say is people who agree with me= smart and good, people who don’t agree with me= stupid assholes). Sorry, but that’s not the way of the world. Intelligence has nothing to do with being good-hearted. There’s no correlation there. Also, people aren’t being assholes because they can’t figure out how to be a decent person. People are being assholes because they’re assholes, and because other people let them get away with it.
A better summation would be: Assholes are always confident they’re right and you’re wrong/you don’t matter, whereas decent people always give people the benefit of the doubt.
When a person is acting like an asshole, CHECK THEM and say THAT’S NOT OKAY. Don’t just sit there and dither about whether they “meant it like that” or not. It does NOT matter how they meant it. Intentions don’t matter. Impact matters! If a person is acting like an asshole, tell them to stop. Telling them to stop is not an attack on that person. It is THE RESPONSIBLE THING TO DO. You as a decent person have the responsibility to stand up to assholery!
If a person is acting like an asshole, and you tell them to stop, and they act all injured (hostile or sorry for themselves) as if you’re being unfair- let me break that down for you:
-they acted like an asshole (like they were the only ones who matter)
-now they are focusing on how they feel instead of acknowledging how other people feel when victimized by assholery (again because they are the only ones who matter)
-they attack your self-identity as “a decent person” by accusing you of being not-decent in order to get you to back down (they gaslight you into thinking calling out an asshole is the same as an ad hominem attack, and that you are the actual asshole here)
-so that they can go ahead and do what they wanted to in the first place (again with no regards to others as they are the only ones who matter) AND to be an ass to you as a bonus
We (in the U.S.) have an incoming administration full of white supremacists, misogynists, homophobes, xenophobes, ableists, eugenicists, and basically oppressors and assholes of every stripe and variety.
How is it that all these people are grown adults and are still acting like smug little grade-a assholes?
BECAUSE NOBODY HAS STOPPED THEM FROM ACTING LIKE ASSHOLES
BECAUSE PEOPLE KEEP GIVING THEM CHANCES INSTEAD OF CONSEQUENCES
When you see a pattern of behavior that has, instead of rightful consequences, rewarded a person with power, influence, and wealth, do you really think that pattern of behavior is going to change?
Why the hell would it?
If you see a slew of NEO-NAZIS headed into power, WHY would you give that a chance?
Why would you NOT stand up and say that’s wrong?
Why the Absolute and Ever-loving HELL would you Give That A Chance?!?
Give it a chance
complicit enabling bullshit