Dear Autistic Kid, on meltdowns and shame

Autistic Science Lady

Dear autistic kid,

I just wanted to let you know that autistic adults have meltdowns too. I still have meltdowns as an adult sometimes. I hate it when everyone is staring at me when I have them, especially in public, because I don’t want to be angry or yell at people or cry, but I can’t help it when it’s happening. And sometimes the people around me don’t know what’s going on, which is extra frustrating. Sometimes when I know I’m going to have a meltdown though and I’m in a safe spot at home, I’ll punch a springy pillow to tire myself out and I’ll scream too, so I don’t yell mean stuff at people. When I’m having a meltdown or sensory overload, I really want to hit my head sometimes because it feels too pressurized/like it’s on fire, but I try not to do that if I can…

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Christmas Carols Nobody Asked For, Vol. 2: Christmas Will Christmas on Christmasing Day

Wrap me a peppermint baby, be gay
While Christmas will Christmas on Christmasing Day!

Dani Alexis

(For an explanation of this project, see Volume 1.)

Many Christmas carols in English are in 6/8 time. These carols tend to belong to a long tradition of English folk music, which is often in 6/8.

These types of English folk tunes are among my favorites to play, sing and arrange, so I thought I’d take a stab at writing one.

In the audio file, I also took a stab at voicings similar to those you might find in a medieval English ensemble – or as close as I could get with the MIDI equivalents of modern instruments. The sheet music has these voicings and also the original piano score.

As always, lyrics are composed on Botnik’s predictive text keyboard and music is composed in Noteflight.

Christmas Will Christmas On Christmasing Day

In Hollywood news, old Santa is here
In merry old farmhouses, peace is on fire
In town…

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Not the same

I recently learned there’s a phrase for this. it’s ‘tribal epistemology”:

a coherent heart

Stop saying that the protests against DJT today and the previous protests against Obama are the same. They aren’t. I will give you two reasons. (There are more.)

I heard during Obama’s administration (First List):

-Obama is not American (he was born in Kenya)
-Obama is not Christian (he’s a Muslim) + Obama’s going to put us all under Sharia Law

Republican pundits kept on about this, and on, and on, and never stopped about this. There was/still is a lot of fear and anger on these points.

That is NOT THE SAME as (Second List):

-the (nominee for) health secretary and Republicans in Congress are trying to repeal my healthcare although they have no working plan to replace it
-the education secretary has no experience and is considering defunding public schools
-the labor secretary’s career is based on undermining worker’s rights
-the head of the EPA wants to abolish…

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#1218: “Irritability and constant criticism in a marriage.”

Captain Awkward

Dear Captain,

My husband (he / him / his) is extremely smart and good in his job, has a close relationship with his sister, and good at figuring out mechanical challenges (e.g., setting up a new type of tent) patiently and thoroughly.

But I can’t bear the constant criticism. He’s always miffed about something. It is many, simultaneous small things: being hot, not reading for fun anymore, allergies, my refusal to go surfing, my lack of passion for running, that I don’t plan trips/activities, that we don’t share hobbies, that we don’t spend enough time together, that he has to constantly alter his schedule for me, that I interrupt him to serve dinner when he is putting away laundry, that I asked him to hang out when he was clearly doing something, that I can’t travel with him for > one month each year, that I work too much (I…

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#1222: “Love my family, hate my mean red-pilling brother who is always around.”

Captain Awkward

Behind a cut for emotional abuse, misogyny, and discussion of these things as specifically related to recent gun violence and the possibility thereof, which is not what the Letter Writer asked, but definitely something I saw in the question.

I did a giant dump of cat photos for patrons if you need to click on over that way. ❤

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I identify as tired

Chavisory's Notebook

I started wondering something explicitly for the first time recently, and that is: How many autistic kids who fly under the radar for years, or forever, present primarily to non-autistic observers as exhausted?

I wonder this as I continue recovering from a recent production, and my main problem is just that I’m so exhausted. If I get up at 10:00 AM, I need a nap by 4:00 or 5:00, and not for having done all that much in my waking hours. Every time somebody has made me exercise the slightest amount of planning ability outside of work, I just want to cry. It’s taken my writing brain a couple of months to even think about coming back online. And transitions are still the worst.

But mostly I’m just so tired.

And I look back on being a kid and obviously there was so much that I just had no frame…

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